Catfished in the Shallows

I was exploring online dating for a few years, and it would often result in meeting nice people, and a few relationships developed.  One woman’s profile caught my eye, and seemed like she was someone I’d like to get to know better.  After a few emails and responses, I asked “Lindsay” out for dinner out near the U-district.  Lindsay told me she is vegetarian, so we chose an appropriate restaurant. 

I arrived at the restaurant, and got us a table.  I passed the time by looking through the menu, and goofing around on my phone.  She sent a text, letting me know she was running late.  To pass the time I glanced at her online profile again, to perhaps focus some of our similar interests in future conversation.  Then Lindsay arrived.  I just didn’t realize it at first.  I should rephrase that as, a completely different woman arrived through the door, and waved a greeting in my direction.  I was puzzled by this encounter, because I had just looked at Lindsay’s profile, and she looked absolutely nothing like this woman that was approaching.  I hesitantly stood up, and greeted myself.  She cheerfully said, “Hi!  I’m Lindsay.”  I was completely thrown off balance.  In comparing her physical appearance to ALL of her online profile photos, she appeared about 60+ lbs heavier, 5+ years older, different color, length, and style of hair, different facial features, different facial bone structure, different body shape and height, and different colored eyes.  The photos weren’t even close!  It had to be a different person.  Were there two women named Lindsay at this exact restaurant meeting someone new for the first time?  It didn't make sense.

Sure we eventually had a nice conversation, and she seemed like a nice lady, but I couldn’t get my mind around that Lindsay was not the person she portrayed herself to be in her profile.  I suppose that makes me shallow, but I had absolutely zero physical attraction to this woman.  In fact, she had the opposite effect on me because I felt deceived. I thought at some point I was going to comment on her appearance compared to her online profile, but I didn’t know how.  If it were something small, like a haircut, it wouldn’t be so difficult to approach.  Instead we are talking about two distinct and different people entirely.  How could one politely tell a woman that her profile photos were bogus?  

By the end of the dinner, we split the bill, and went our separate ways.  It was apparent that there wasn’t any “spark”, so I didn’t suggest we meet in the future.  When I got back to my car, I pulled up my phone again, and looked very closely at each of her profile photos.  In one of them, I could possibly see some slight resemblance, like perhaps some distant younger cousin, but definitely not the same woman at all.  Just not possible.

Why would someone go through so much effort to disguise their appearance?  What would she think would happen whenever her date saw what she looked like compared to how her profile appeared?  Maybe I’m just shallow, but I found the whole concept to be offensive.  

False advertisement.  Nobody wins.